


Selfish

by SilverMidnight



Series: Mozzie/Neal [4]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Family, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 04:57:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12161994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMidnight/pseuds/SilverMidnight
Summary: Mozzie plans on spending the day relaxing at one of his favorite spots. An appearance from Elizabeth throws that into the air.





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> The fourth part of my Neal and Mozzie series! I just love these two together. They're so cute and I love Mozzie. I do I love him.
> 
> If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

A content sigh fell from Mozzie's lips as he picked up his glass of wine. There was nothing like spending lunch with a good book and a good Pinot Noir at his favorite restaurant. Especially when he didn't get to go there all that often.

As much as he loved the world he ran in there were some things that he had come to dislike. The fact that he had to make sure not to have any regular haunts was one of them. Never knew who was watching.

That didn't mean that he didn't have favorites of course. According to Neal he only had favorites. That wasn't his fault though. He had to a strict set of rules that he had followed for many years. He wasn't going to change them now.

At least not completely change them. For the most part all of his truly favorite places were kept to himself and himself alone. It wasn't that he thought that the younger man was going to go off and blow them for him, but everyone had to have a place of their own.

Before Neal had been chained up by the government he and Mozzie had had a system for when things got to be too much. Okay, so it wasn't so much a system as them disappearing for weeks at a time, but they always got in contact with each other at the one month mark.

It wasn't always a phone call either. Sometimes it was a coded message in a newspaper or, in one very memorable instance, a missing Etruscan bronze statuette showing up on Mozzie's pillow. The forger really did like showing off sometimes.

Mozzie had to admit that he loved the times when Neal was being calm though. Where he was being Neal. No one around to play up for. The two of them could just be themselves. They didn't get to do that very often anymore.

That had been the plan for the day actually. He was going to finally introduce his lover to one of his favorite restaurants in New York and they'd be able to just be another couple on a date. He had been really looking forward to that.

For weeks now Neal and Peter had been going on case after case. It wasn't a bad thing just highly annoying. Mozzie could admit that he missed having those blue eyes looking at him instead of looking at some file.

The case was finally finished though and no one had been injured. Neal had said that after a good night sleep that the whole weekend was just for them. It was rare that the man ever went back on his word, but it did happen.

Peter came banging on the door at six in the morning claiming that he needed the con's help. At first they both had pointed out that the entire team had the weekend off. Then came the fact that the case involved children and that was it.

As much as he wanted to spend some time with his lover he was never going to put a child at risk. If Neal could help the Feds than that was what he was going to do and they both knew it. So here he was. Alone. Waiting to hear that everything was fine.

A part of him hated the fact that this was part of his life now. Though he had to admit that it wasn't all that different from when he had to sit and wait for Neal to show up after to went to do a job on his own.

Well, there was one major difference. The Suit. Mozzie couldn't understand why the man loved the Suit as much as he did. Cons and Suits were not supposed to be friends. They were enemies until their dying breath.

Neal wasn't a normal con though. He didn't see the world as black and white. He never had. It was because of that though that the older man knew if it could be helped his lover was never going to walk away from what he had now.

The younger man was not the type of person that let go when he cared and he did care. Not just about the Feds either. He just cared. He might be a con and he might have gone to jail, but Neal was one of the most pure hearted people Mozzie knew.

Which was something that the older man hated as much as he loved. For one of the greatest cons that he had ever worked with the man had an almost childlike view on the world. He got hurt a lot of the time because of that.

He wanted so much to believe that people were good. It was odd and he knew that Neal would deny it if he brought it up, but it was true. He thought that people were good deep down and he let himself get played because he thought that the person was trying to help.

There were points when Mozzie just wanted to shake the man out of that thought process. At the same time though the last thing he wanted was for the man to act like he probably should. After everything that he had been through… He did not want to see the man that his lover very easily could have become.

He knew that most people didn't think of Neal as a strong person. They got caught up in his easy smile and bright eyes. They saw him as a pretty face that never let anything truly effect him. He was untouchable in their eyes.

They never bothered to look past all of that. If they did they'd see a man that had been broken and beaten by the universe more times that fair. They'd see someone that even after everything still believed and loved and cared about everyone.

They'd see a man that woke up screaming from nightmares. One that cried in the shower after he convinced himself he failed someone. One that refused to be touched even by his lover sometimes because everything hurt.

It was heartbreaking to see someone that he loved act like that. Of course he knew that it was a good thing the man wasn't holding it in, but there was no way to comfort Neal when he got like that. He just had to watch.

The first time he had seen the cracks beyond the smiling mask he just about freaked out himself. He had truly thought that Neal was having a nervous breakdown and that he was going to hurt himself or someone else.

It had only lasted one night and the next day he was back to being himself, but everything had changed. Mozzie had seen that Neal was human behind everything. He had seen that despite what he said he wasn't okay.

In the end though it was all of that that drew him to the man. Mozzie knew that he didn't have a good view of the world. He had tried to be less cynical and paranoid about the world, but he couldn't stop himself.

He had done a lot of things that he wasn't proud of when he was younger. Things that he knew could very easily land him in prison with no hope of ever getting out. That had been his world for a long time and it took everything he was to get out.

He didn't exactly like thinking of the person that he used to be. Over the years he had told Neal some of the things that he had done. Other things though, he refused to ever speak of to anyone ever again.

In the long run he knew that it wouldn't cost him his lover. Neal wasn't the type of person to leave when he found out something. He was terrified of the way the man would look at him though. He couldn't stand having the love in those blue eyes hidden by fear. Even if it was justified.

After everything that had happened he had never thought that he'd be in this situation. He had long since given up on the idea of love. If his own parents hadn't wanted him than he doubted that anyone else would.

Okay, so when all the lights were out he hoped and dreamed for love and a family. He never really believed he'd get it. Neal had a way of making even the wildest fantasy come true though. Even when he didn't know what the dream was.

A part of Mozzie still thought that he was the last person that deserved the man's affection. The idea of just up and leaving came into his mind more often than he liked to admit. He could disappear and no one would be able to find him.

Now that he knew Neal would be taken care of he could do it easily. Neal couldn't risk taking off his anklet to find him. The younger man could finally be free of him and go live a relatively normal life.

He was selfish though. Until Neal realized that he was better off without him he was going to stay. It was a good thing that he had ever claimed to be a good person or he'd feel bad for taking advantage of the situation.

When the two of them had broken up the first time he had thought that that was it for them. He had been planning on walking away from the younger man right then and there. Until Neal opened his mouth and explained the newest job he had found.

Those eyes were pleading with Mozzie to stay and help him even though he didn't need it. He should have turned around and walked away. He couldn't though. Even back then he had loved Neal with everything that he was.

He was just a kid though. One that was looking for a place to belong. For awhile Mozzie had given him that. It wasn't normal by any means, but they made it work. Then Neal found someone that needed him instead of him needing them.

Mozzie had once again decided to take a step back from their relationship when Kate came along. The two needed each other. Kate had lived in a shadow for all of her life and Neal had finally found freedom.

He had packed his bags fully intending to leave when Kate stopped him. She didn't say a word as she took the bags out of his hands and pushed him into the kitchen of the apartment they had been staying at. A bright smile from Neal greeted him when he walked in.

Every time Mozzie tried to leave she'd be in the way. She never said anything about the fact that he was going. All she'd do was force him to face Neal and that would be that. He couldn't leave once he saw the man's face.

Kate had been good for the man he loved. He had thought that they were going to be together forever. Living in a rose colored world where nothing ever touched them. He hadn't realized just how wrong he had been.

As much as he hated to admit it though Kate's death helped Neal in a way. He had lost some of that childlike wonder and grown as a person. A person that he wouldn't have been able to become if things continued the way they did.

It was wrong of him to think and there was no chance that he'd ever tell his lover what he thought. Neal was understanding, but that would be pushing it. He was also a little blinded when it came to Kate and himself.

Even after her death though he hadn't thought that the man would want him again. He hadn't thought that Neal would really want anyone again. Kate was the love of his life and that meant something to someone like Neal.

The younger man had a way of surprising him though. Which was one of the things that Mozzie loved. He so rarely found something that kept him attention for long. Mostly because he could figure it out relatively quickly. That, like everything else, wasn't the case with Neal.

Before he could go further into his thoughts his attention was pulled away as a shadow fell over his table. Instantly he knew that it wasn't the waiter making his rounds. He knew he should have waited for Neal to have another day off before coming.

For a moment he sat there pretending he hadn't noticed. He really didn't want to deal with anyone or anything right then. If he looked up and acknowledged the person than he was just going to be dragged down the rabbit hole. He hated the rabbit hole.

"Are you really ignoring me, Mozzie?" the shadow questioned letting him know who it was.

"Mrs. Suit," he greeted finally looking up from his book, "To what do I owe this pleasure? Need help hiding something from your lesser half?"

"Nothing like that. It's a nice day so I decided to walk home from my meeting. I saw you sitting here alone and I wondered if you might want some company."

Looking up into the blue eyes Mozzie instantly saw that she was holding something back. He didn't doubt that she had seen him when she was walking home. She knew well enough that keeping the lie as truthful as possible was the best thing to do.

Still, he knew that she wanted something. There was just enough of a wall up in her eyes that he could see all. There was something on her mind and it was just easier to give in than fight it. His nice peaceful day was once again thrown out the window.

"Of course," Mozzie agreed motioning to the chair across from him, "What's on your mind?"

"Well," she started her eyes glittering mischievously as she took her seat, "I heard a rumor from the husband and I needed to know the truth."

"And what rumor is that?"

"Just that you are dating a certain 'alleged' forger."

"Ah, that rumor. It does sound a bit farfetched, doesn't it?"

"Not really."

Mozzie couldn't help but blink when she said that. Mostly people never thought anything of him and Neal. Well, outside of questioning why a person like Neal Caffrey would ever need to have a person like him in his life.

It hurt a little when he thought about it, but he knew they were right. Neal didn't need him. He might want him for some reason, but he didn't need him. Once again Neal was just too blind to see what was right in front of him.

The only difference in their skill sets was the fact that Mozzie had been doing it longer and had more contacts. If he and Neal hadn't become friends all those years ago there would be no reason for them to know each other at all. That was not a nice thought.

"I mean," she continued cutting through his thoughts once more, "I noticed the way Neal watches you. And the first time you two were in the same room? Don't even get me started on it. Then there's the way he talks about you. He's nothing short of protective. He is clearly in love with you. It was you that surprised me."

"Me?" Mozzie questioned curiously.

"Yes, you. He'd take a step close and you'd move back. You always held yourself away from him. It was like you were only around because of his skills. I might have liked you at first, but I didn't trust you. Especially not with him."

"You thought that I was using his attraction to me to get him to do jobs."

"Can you blame me?"

Mozzie couldn't help but snort at that. As much as he wanted to he knew that she was right. Their relationship made no sense. If he had met Neal just a few years earlier that would have been his plan.

No, he really couldn't fault her for thinking that something was going on between them. It would have been too easy to do so. When it came to the younger man though the easy thing was the least likely thing to happen. He just loved throwing things in the air.

"No," he smiled sipping his wine, "I can't say I can. Just as you can't fault me for thinking the same of you and the Suit."

"I expect nothing less," she replied with a smile of her own.

Both of them shared a laugh at that. Out of all the people that Neal had brought into his life Elizabeth had to be one of his favorite. Mostly because he was sure that if she wanted to she would have been an amazing con.

Of course she would have been miserable while doing so. Some people were just not meant for the life that he led. It was a sad truth that he had come to terms with long ago. Sometimes happiness meant more than anything else.

In the end, that was his biggest worry about him and Neal. He loved the way he lived. He loved pulling cons and having no one know his name. He loved walking into a room and knowing that he was the smartest person.

Neal, on the other hand, wasn't the same. It wasn't that he didn't love the life, but he wanted more at the same time. One day it… He might not be enough for the younger man. Everything they had would fall apart that day.

He hated to think about it, but he knew that he and Neal had an expiration date. Neal might not think it, but he wanted something permanent. Which was the last thing that Mozzie was. Though he never thought he'd be on first name basis with a Suit and his wife. Neal changed things.

"Mozzie," Elizabeth sighed causing him to look at her, "I like to think of us as friends."

"As do I," Mozzie offered feeling dread ball in his stomach.

"Please remember that when I saw this. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay. Okay. You and Neal are different. Not just from the rest of us, but from each other. You and he aren't… I'm not sure that you and he are on the same page in this relationship."

The man felt his jaw clench as she echoed what he just thought. It was one thing to think it himself, but to hear it from someone else. That hurt a lot more than he thought it would. And he had no one to blame but himself.

He knew exactly why she was saying it and he couldn't blame her. Hell, a small part of him wanted people to think that. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same as them. That he wasn't going to be around for long.

Still, knowing that didn't make him feel any better. He had a lot of faults that he didn't need thrown in his face. Especially by a person that was supposed to be his friend. Even though she was looking out for Neal.

He and Elizabeth were friends. They were both fine with admitting that, but in the long run that was only because of Neal. If the younger man wasn't there than none of them were. That was just how it went and they all knew it.

Neal was protected by all of them. Especially from each other. Everyone had a hand to play in the younger man's life. Be it a friend, a lover, a boss, they all cared for the man and loved him through it all.

The idea that in the end he might need protection from them was a very real one. He had actually done it a few times whenever the Suit came into the loft. It wasn't a big protection, but enough to know where he and the Suit stood.

That was a big part of their relationship. Neal was the glue that kept them together and the rest of them were scissors waiting to cut the others out of his life if they even thought of hurting him in any way.

"I know," Mozzie sighed before she could continue, "I think about it a lot."

"Then why are you with him?" Elizabeth questioned curiously, "I know you care about him. Probably more than any of us do. If you think you're going to hurt him why stay?

"Because… Because I love him. I know I'm not good for him, Elizabeth, and I know it won't end well, but until he tells me to go with him is where I belong."

Once he was done talking he expected her to argue more. She was well within her right to call him some horrible names and maybe even smack him a few times. He wouldn't have stopped her if that was what she decided.

Instead the woman threw her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. Smiling softly he hugged her back the dread in his stomach finally relaxing slightly. She wasn't going to try to convince Neal to leave him.

He still didn't trust her fully, he didn't trust most people fully, but he was happy to have her in his life. And even under torture he would never say it out loud, but he was glad to have the Suit in his life as well. He really was a very selfish person.

"You two are coming to dinner tonight," she stated firmly as she stood up.

"We are?" Mozzie questioned cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Why is that?"

"Because if the way Peter acted telling me about you two was anything to go on I need to see him squirm having to two there in person."

"In that case. We'll be there."


End file.
